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Unacceptable Risk: Letters from a Child Molester
By
A. Kenneth Fuller, M.D.
Psychiatrist and Author
Unacceptable Risk: Child Sexual Abuse and AIDS
Thomas College Press, Thomasville, GA, 1998.
www.seawebdesign.com/risk
The greatest problem in America may not be murder,
drug abuse, cancer, or heart disease, but rather the exposure of children to
abuse. It is unacceptable to condition youth to accept maltreatment as normal,
to diminish their enjoyment of life, or to shorten their lives. Yet, this is
happening more frequently, as sexual abuse is increasing.
The unveiling of the incorrigible child molester is
not a fluke, but the predicable outcome of our society’s indifference to child
sexual abuse and the growing numbers of pedophiles. There are an estimated one-half
million pedophiles, or people with pedophilia. Coming from Greek words that
mean “children” and "love," pedophilia translates as "deviant
love of children." When psychiatrists diagnose a child molester as a pedophile,
they are referring to recurrent, intense sexual urges or behaviors involving
sexual activity with children.
A SCARY PEDOPHILE
A turning point in my understanding of the complex
psychology of the child molester occurred when I began to receive letters from
an incarcerated pedophile named Jesse. Jesse was familiar with my work and
embarked on a one-man campaign to "rectify" my thinking on the nature
and motivation of the sexual behaviors of "his kind." Letters came
to my home with a prison return address. The letters kept coming. I moved.
Dear Dr. Fuller:
I, after a long life as an engineer, now find myself in prison at age 71
with a 30-year sentence. I had to plead guilty of the loving, affectionate
sex-play I had with four boys to whom I had given a home.
There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I went to prison, not for harming
anyone, but because of the end-effects of the writings of individuals like you.
Your beliefs are totally unscientific, vicious diatribes, creating deep, harmful
guilt in the minds of boys and the men who feel a strong, protective love for
them. You have me so nervous with outrage; I find it hard to write. You and
others like you have literally killed me. You call names! You call me a child
sexual abuser or a child molester. . . . I've never had sex with a boy I didn't
first love. . . . I am Proud to be Ped [Pedophile].
Sincerely,
Jesse
Jesse's provocative letter illustrates a typical
pedophile's frightening point of view. You will not forget Jesse, as he will
profess his terrible opinions in the letters to come. Jesse truly believes
that he is right. Jesse's letters show the distorted thoughts that accompany
deviant urges.
Though I did not respond directly to Jesse's letters,
the content stimulated my need to articulate a response. You will meet Jesse
in the following pages and hear his voice, his side of the story. This article
and my book, Unacceptable Risk is, in part, a response to Jesse.
I am a reluctant expert on child sexual abuse. I
am reluctant because I hate the tragedy sexual abuse causes; nevertheless, I
feel called to the task of ameliorating the silence and denial that prevent
others from taking action against the problem.
As I look back, I now realize that my expertise did
not become mature when I conducted research, published articles and co-authored
a book. It began with my return to South Georgia as a practicing psychiatrist
who listened to everyday people. These patients taught me with their stories.
Jesse taught me with his letters.
FAILED TREATMENT
Only
a very small number of psychologists, psychiatrists, and other mental health
professionals has a special interest in the management of sex offenders. It
is also unfortunate that the legal system has no better alternative than to
refer child molesters to a mental health system poorly equipped to deal with
them and their special needs.
Jesse, the confirmed pedophile, tells of treatment by
an unprepared therapist.
Dear Dr. Fuller:
Remember me? I'm Jesse. I wrote to you a few days ago. I want you to know
this. I once undertook analysis for 2 1/2 years. I begged the doctor in charge
to concentrate on the harm I was causing Johnny, my boy of that year. It seemed
there had to be great harm proven by hearings before these draconian laws were
passed. I couldn't sense harm, but the reverse, benefits, to Johnny.
The doctor finally said, "I didn't take your case because you are harming
others, but because you can be terribly harmed if I cannot change you."
Even now the state psychiatrist says he would walk me out if he could, but he
cannot.
Dr. Fuller, your writings back up this persecution. There is nothing worse
in this world than a charlatan — one who makes scientific assumptions creating
imprisonment, suicide, and extreme emotional harm to some mighty fine, caring,
intelligent men.
Sincerely,
Jesse
Jesse's failed attempt at treatment illustrates the
danger of clinicians trying to treat these special problems without the necessary
expertise. As Will Rogers once said, "There is nothing as stupid as an
educated man if you get off the thing that he was educated in." Simply
put, not all doctors, psychologists, or therapists, even those who work in prison
settings, are qualified to treat child molesters.
WISHFUL THINKING
Sexual abuse hurts. The impact of painful memories
can cause years of suffering. Abuse damages children physically and emotionally.
Sexual abuse is never a normal part of growing up. Seducing children exposes
defenseless, unprotected and innocent persons — kids — to serious damage. Kids
wonder what is going on. Child molesters know; kids do not. Some abusers are
stimulated by the victim's naiveté.
Dear Dr. Fuller:
I said in a previous letter that I'm proud to be a pedophile. Let me say
it again. I have nothing to be ashamed of and a lot to be proud of. The problem
is that you think of sex as being always an exploitive, dirty, evil, harmful
act. I think of it as a confirmation of affectionate feelings, stronger and
more loving than a kiss or hug. . . . Maybe you don't think that boys need a
sense of being loved to feel secure? I assure you that no group of human beings
need it more and seek it more fervently. You can say that young boys cannot
make an intelligent decision about their own bodies but that statement is irrelevant;
they will decide for themselves and do not care less what their parents or the
lawmakers think about it.
I have been married twice and fathered four children. I made Herculean
efforts to conform to your "only pattern" of love and sexual orientation,
never fully making the change. Living in fear of the law has destroyed my life,
finally. The ones truly harmed by my incarceration are the members of my family
— my two teenage daughters and my little grandchildren who need the loving attention
of their "granpaw."
Sincerely,
Jesse
For too long, wishful thinking has dominated the
child abuse problem. Wishful thinkers assume our nation's leaders are focusing
efforts on sound and effective prevention policy. Somehow, they trust, child
abuse will be eliminated. They believe churches, social agencies, and government
combine resources in a broad-based, unified strategy. They conclude if sexual
molestation is a serious and widespread problem, our culture — a moral society
— is playing an active and meaningful role in its elimination.
They are dangerously wrong. Child sexual abuse is
a serious, widespread, and often ignored problem. Signs herald a crisis: First,
cases of child molestation are growing faster than child protection services
can investigate. Child sexual abuse, incest, and rape make up approximately
500,000 sexual crimes each year. Child protection team investigators have not
kept up with the dramatic rise in the incidence of child molestation, nor have
victim support services. Second, to meet increased demand for child protection
services, we are increasing our demands on an already overburdened system and,
in the process, gambling with our children. Third, some child molesters keep
a lethal secret. Molestation, at the very least, damages the child's well being
and his or her prospects for future development.
It is time to stop wishful thinking and examine the
facts!
• American children are abused at the rate of one child every two
minutes.
• The number of sexual abuse cases is skyrocketing.
• Most cases are never reported.
• Many cases involve alcohol and/or drugs.
• No group is immune from sexual victimization.
• Child molesters and victims come from all levels of society.
• Adults abused as children have a higher likelihood of HIV-infection,
criminal behavior, and sexual offense.
• All 50 states have laws requiring that abuse cases be reported.
• Help is available.
Sexual abuse, which is all around us, hurts. The
incidence of child abuse has increased twenty-seven percent since 1990. The
National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect estimates a million children are
currently affected by abuse. Many are at risk of permanent damage.
Child molesters stir mixed
feelings. People react differently. Many parents of sexually victimized children
are overwhelmed.
DEVIANT THOUGHTS
The families of both the victims and the perpetrators
of child sexual abuse face a maze of confusion, despair, and denial. The average
American, whether affluent or deprived, finds it difficult to believe that "such
things" can strike close to home. Having a loved one exposed to sexual
abuse (or exposed as a sexual molester) often makes a family realize that "these
things" do happen to people just like them. It can happen anywhere, even
at home.
Dear Dr. Fuller:
Although I have already written you regarding your article, the suppositions
you so unscientifically arrive at still have me so upset that I can now see
that one of the main sources of disinformation which judges use to rationalize
their sentencing of innocent persons comes from all such articles.
I know it has been; it should always be; that man/boy love can be the most
beneficial form of pair-bonding there is — the most selfless and gratifying.
It can be a beautiful feeling.
Among the sixty or more boys I loved, everyone reiterated that the most important
feeling they experienced out of the relationship was a "feeling of security"
which seemed very important to them. They felt no sense of guilt whatsoever
because they had not been caught.
Not one boy I have ever known has turned out bad as a result of our relationships.
A few have turned out to be far above where they would have been without that
sense of security my love gave them.
Therefore, knowing the effects stemming from
such irresponsible and harmful articles, I feel that something should be done
to put a stop to such harm of innocent people, the children involved included.
Sincerely,
Jesse
Men and women who see the world in this way are sick.
They have built-in excuses for their sexual abuse. This denial and displacement
lets them avoid the punishment that their conscience would cause them. An old
proverb exposes their error: "Who excuses himself, accuses himself."
THE CHILD MOLESTER WITH AIDS
There is no doubt that most molesters misrepresent
their perversion. They mislead. They lie. They deny. To often, sexual molesters
avoid detection because the rest of the world does not suspect that children
are being abused.
Dear Dr. Fuller,
It's shocking, I guess, for people to realize how easy man/boy love is to
do. People are unaware and that makes it easy for me to share my protective
affection.
Never did I force, coerce, or intimidate the boys I loved. I didn't have
to. They wanted it. I refuse to accept your "guilt complex." I
left no hurt, unlike the vicious, sadistic rape society impaled on me.
There is little sympathy for child molesters. The first week at the penitentiary
. . . They sodomized me every night for four months.
Later, I tested positive for HIV. I am doomed to die of AIDS.
Sincerely,
Jesse
The possibility of child molesters spreading AIDS to their young victims brings
even more urgency to this already critical situation. At present, our society
might be likened to a baby who thinks that the world disappears if she closes
her eyes. The time has come for mature adults to face up to molesters, like
Jesse, and HIV with courage and resolution.
If our society is to manage the wickedness of Jesse and of other HIV-infected
child molesters, the reality of this danger must be accepted. Regardless
of the circumstances of sexual abuse, all child molesters should be tested for
HIV and closely monitored in the community.
INCORRIGIBLE PREDATORS
Child molesters have good prospects for recovery
when properly treated. Appropriate treatment, which aims to control abnormal
sexual fantasies, urges, and behaviors, can help stop sexual abuse of children
and keep it from happening again. Unfortunately, there is no proven cure for
child molesters, and not all these people are willing to follow advice or suggestions
that would help them.
Some molesters, like Jesse, are incorrigible and
should be humanely removed from society.
Dear Dr. Fuller:
I have more to say to you from my prison
cell, where the end-effects of writings such as yours have put me.
You have freedom of speech, but you cannot yell "Fire!" in a crowded
theater. That is what you have done by irresponsibly using the words "sexual
abuse" and "child molester." You do not have that right. I
know a Rhodes Scholar, a doctor, two lawyers and a world-renowned entertainer,
all who were extremely intelligent, caring people that you have victimized by
your homophobic prejudice.
Maybe you justify your name-calling by the bigot's statement that "women
are made for men," hence are the only ones to be used by men for sexual
satisfaction. I am convinced that, if legal and uninhibited, over ten to twenty
percent of males would prefer boys to women, saving women for pregnancy and
motherhood.
I hope to find substantial help to put a
stop to your harmful articles.
Sincerely,
Jesse
Child molesters, like Jesse, are going to reoffend
once they are released from prison. Psychopathic sex offenders do not respond
to treatment and, in fact, often worsen with treatment. Some molesters are
untreatable sexual predators, who should remain in custody, if not prison.
A PLEA
The letters from Jesse have haunted me for years.
His last words, which follow, tell a harsh truth about prison overcrowding and
the danger early release programs present to children.
Dear Dr. Fuller:
The Board of Pardons and Parole is releasing me. I guess it costs the prison
system too much money to treat my medical problems. Now I can go home and share
my affections before I die.
I have one last thing to say to you. There was always one common denominator
in all my relationships, that is, a strong material and emotional need I felt.
A homely, sad little guy, hurting for some reason, turned me on. I tried to
first create a sense of security. Sexual involvement came later.
Man/boy love can be the most beneficial form of pair-bonding there is — the
most selfless and gratifying. It can be a beautiful feeling. So don't refer
to my strong, protective sense of love by cheap name-calling.
Sincerely,
Jesse
Jesse betrays himself. As much as he wants us to
believe he is helping the boys he "loves," his words show us that
he seeks emotional gratification for himself. How pathetic. Jesse longs so
for human contact that he turns to children for affection. Then he tries to
logically justify his unacceptable sexual behavior.
The thing that leaps out at a newcomer is how immutable
Jesse's beliefs are, the repugnancy of his perversion, and his lack of insight
into the way he has destroyed innocent lives.
Unfortunately, the usual process set up to stop child
molesters is often ineffective and disconnected. Parents, citizens, lawmakers
and judges should insist that people like Jesse receive appropriate treatment.
When treatment is not available or is unsuccessful, society must come to terms
with the high price paid by young victims and humanely find a way to monitor,
or if necessary, remove people like Jesse from society.
We should try to learn from the Jesses of the world.
Ingrained patterns die hard. We need to take a bold step forward to the next
level — toward zero tolerance for child sexual abuse. Otherwise, children are
fated to undergo repeated victimization. The final answer will come not from
books, or by the discoveries of science, or by legislation, but by the grassroots
determination to stop silently condoning sexual abuse.
The average citizen
can recognize and stop abuse.
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